THAT LITTLE THING CALLED FAILURE

I see the product of their hard work. Photographers like Jasmine Star, Jose Villa, Jessica Claire, Mallory Buck, Kayla Barker, Crash Taylor…and I become excited. Because the wheels start to turn in my head. Because I believe that one day, with hard work, I can be proud and confident of my work the way these photographers are of their own. Then these doubts begin to overshadow my dreams. I begin to think it could never be. I begin to look at what I have done so far and just fall apart….because it's not what I want it to be…because it's not good enough for me. I hate this fear of failure. I hate that I want something so badly but I am too afraid to go for it. I hate that I get all these ideas and then I just allow them to dissipate because I don't believe in myself. Why am I so afraid? The other day my 4 year old nephew asked me not to let my big puppy into the house because he was afraid of him. I told him, "Being afraid is no way to live your life. " Why can I say it to him but can't believe it for myself?